Communication problems in relationships are so common that no matter how great you and your sweetie get along, you’re bound to run into some miscommunication somewhere along the line. The good news is, with the right approach, these problems usually aren’t too hard to solve.
Bridge the gender divide!
Men and women approach relationships in distinctly different ways. Without and open mind, it’s all too easy to write the opposite gender off as “illogical” or even start thinking of their differences as childish or petty. The fact is neither gender is perfectly logical. Taking some time to learn about exactly how the opposite gender looks at love matters can help you avoid a lot of problems in relationships.
Listen thoughtfully!
Don’t forget that you’re one half of the communication problem. When you’ve been together for a while, you might start to think you know what your partner is going to say. Unless you have ESP, though, you’ll get a lot farther by actually hearing your partner out. When sweetie tells you something, restate what they said to make sure you understood correctly and let them know you heard.
Release the need for blame!
When one of you has a problem, the relationship has a problem and it’s in both your best interests to work it out peacefully.
Instead of going around in circles trying to decide whose fault it is, focus on how you’re going to solve it. Likewise, try to avoid blaming your partner for your overall mood. Specific issues like “When you flirt with other people, I feel rejected.” are fine, but sweeping statements like “You make me miserable.” or “You stress me out.” are taking it too far.
Stick to the facts!
When trying to talk over problems in relationships, don’t bring up any thing you can’t prove. Instead, stay with what can’t be argued like your own feelings and what your partner already agrees they do. For example, saying “You disrespected me in front of my friends.” can be argued because standards of respect differ. On the other hand, saying “I was embarrassed when you told Dave you don’t think I should ask for a raise.” is not only unarguable, but also gets your point across more clearly.
Be frank, but kind!
You’re not doing anyone any favors by taking a “put up and shut up” attitude to problems in relationships. All you end up doing is allowing wounds to fester and they can eventually reach the point where they’ll never heal at all. Instead, speak your mind when you have a problem, but do so with gentleness, kindness, and respect. Remember, your partner probably isn’t trying to hurt or annoy you and may be pretty upset to hear you’re unhappy.
Be a friend, not a coach!
Chances are, your partner isn’t with you because they’re hoping you can correct all their bad habits and personality flaws. You’re not their parent, teacher, coach, or boss. You’re their friend and lover.
You may think you’re giving constructive criticism, but your partner might think your love or respect for them has diminished because of this one little flaw they have. Instead of criticizing, encourage improvement by giving your partner some positive feedback when they do something you really like.
There, that doesn’t sound too hard, does it? These techniques may be simple, but the really do work to solve communication problems in relationships. Give them a try.
Wednesday 3 February 2010
Monday 1 February 2010
Online dating for senior people
Are you a senior aged individual looking for a date? There are people of all ages who are turning to the internet for help with finding a date. Finding a date at your age, just because you are a senior citizen, does not have to be impossible, or even a challenge for that matter. Finding a date as a senior is actually very simple when you consider how many different senior dating service options are out there.
Most senior people who are looking for a date will consider something like a senior dating service. If you throw the search term "senior dating service" into your favorite search engine, you will come up with plenty of results. There are already a large number of massive scale dating services out there, so now many of the newer dating services are niche dating services that are meant to reach out to a specific target market or demographic. For this reason, you have two different options when it comes to finding love in a senior dating service:
1) You can choose a massive scale dating service that caters to all age groups equally,
2) You can choose a senior dating service with preference for senior citizen members, giving you a much more targeted response.
The upside to the idea of using a senior dating website that is specifically aimed at the senior citizen crowd is that all of the members on a senior dating service website are going to be over the age of 50. The downside, however, tends to be that some senior dating service prices are difficult to manage. If you are paying a significant amount of money for a senior dating service, then it would make no sense if you were not finding sufficient numbers of members in your own city or area. On the other hand, if you live in a well populated city or state where there are plenty of members on these senior dating services, and you do not mind the costs that are associated with the membership, then these senior dating service options can be ideal solutions for you.
On the other hand, you may want to consider joining general dating sites simply so you can get a much larger variety of results from people who are seniors and people who are not. The upside is that most of these general dating sites offer free memberships, and membership upgrades generally do not cost nearly as much as the niche membership sites and senior dating sites do. Most large scale general dating sites are so popular, you should have no trouble finding seniors in your area. These dating sites and dating services are so popular, their size means that there will be plenty of singles for you to meet no matter how old you are or what age you are looking for in a partner.
When you are looking for a senior partner, a senior dating service is a good idea, but general dating sites are also a possibility for you to consider.
Most senior people who are looking for a date will consider something like a senior dating service. If you throw the search term "senior dating service" into your favorite search engine, you will come up with plenty of results. There are already a large number of massive scale dating services out there, so now many of the newer dating services are niche dating services that are meant to reach out to a specific target market or demographic. For this reason, you have two different options when it comes to finding love in a senior dating service:
1) You can choose a massive scale dating service that caters to all age groups equally,
2) You can choose a senior dating service with preference for senior citizen members, giving you a much more targeted response.
The upside to the idea of using a senior dating website that is specifically aimed at the senior citizen crowd is that all of the members on a senior dating service website are going to be over the age of 50. The downside, however, tends to be that some senior dating service prices are difficult to manage. If you are paying a significant amount of money for a senior dating service, then it would make no sense if you were not finding sufficient numbers of members in your own city or area. On the other hand, if you live in a well populated city or state where there are plenty of members on these senior dating services, and you do not mind the costs that are associated with the membership, then these senior dating service options can be ideal solutions for you.
On the other hand, you may want to consider joining general dating sites simply so you can get a much larger variety of results from people who are seniors and people who are not. The upside is that most of these general dating sites offer free memberships, and membership upgrades generally do not cost nearly as much as the niche membership sites and senior dating sites do. Most large scale general dating sites are so popular, you should have no trouble finding seniors in your area. These dating sites and dating services are so popular, their size means that there will be plenty of singles for you to meet no matter how old you are or what age you are looking for in a partner.
When you are looking for a senior partner, a senior dating service is a good idea, but general dating sites are also a possibility for you to consider.
Is online dating a gamble?
Dating online is a new medium and some studies have had higher success rates in getting that first date than the conventional method of going to a public place and meeting someone. The reason why there is a higher rate is because people only meet others who share the same interests.
This new method of interaction and hopefully meeting the right person has its advantages and disadvantages.
1. Security
The advantage of personally signing up on an online dating service is that the person can meet many people without the risk of revealing one’s personal information. The only time this happens is when the searcher does it voluntarily to the potential partner.
The disadvantage here is that information, even in general, can be fabricated. Some sites don’t have a place on the page to show the picture of the person and even it is available, people don’t put up a picture and can pretend to be someone and prey on an innocent victim.
2. Affordable
By paying a small membership fee and being a member of an online dating service, a person will be able to save money on someone who shares the same interest and actually have a good time.
The disadvantage here is that though the person may save some money in the short term, it does not guarantee the date may work and the person has to search again. The match making service simply delayed the inevitable of spending more money rather than saving.
3. Broad Market
Dating online allows one to meet people from other cities or even other states. It helps a person make new friends and even build up a network that can even be used for other functions such as business.
The disadvantage of finding love through online dating is that given the distance, one of the people has to make the important decision to relocate to be together leaving friends and family behind.
4. Customer base
The dating service helps people who have a hard time finding the ideal person in life by having a huge membership base giving a wide range of choices of people to choose from.
The problem here is that eventually the number of people will decrease since other matches will happen. If one does not act quickly, one will miss the right person to someone else.
Online dating can be fun, whether to meet new friends or meet that potential partner. This match making service using the computer is for young and old just remember there are no guarantees. It is still a gamble one must take in reaching that goal of finding a soul mate.
This new method of interaction and hopefully meeting the right person has its advantages and disadvantages.
1. Security
The advantage of personally signing up on an online dating service is that the person can meet many people without the risk of revealing one’s personal information. The only time this happens is when the searcher does it voluntarily to the potential partner.
The disadvantage here is that information, even in general, can be fabricated. Some sites don’t have a place on the page to show the picture of the person and even it is available, people don’t put up a picture and can pretend to be someone and prey on an innocent victim.
2. Affordable
By paying a small membership fee and being a member of an online dating service, a person will be able to save money on someone who shares the same interest and actually have a good time.
The disadvantage here is that though the person may save some money in the short term, it does not guarantee the date may work and the person has to search again. The match making service simply delayed the inevitable of spending more money rather than saving.
3. Broad Market
Dating online allows one to meet people from other cities or even other states. It helps a person make new friends and even build up a network that can even be used for other functions such as business.
The disadvantage of finding love through online dating is that given the distance, one of the people has to make the important decision to relocate to be together leaving friends and family behind.
4. Customer base
The dating service helps people who have a hard time finding the ideal person in life by having a huge membership base giving a wide range of choices of people to choose from.
The problem here is that eventually the number of people will decrease since other matches will happen. If one does not act quickly, one will miss the right person to someone else.
Online dating can be fun, whether to meet new friends or meet that potential partner. This match making service using the computer is for young and old just remember there are no guarantees. It is still a gamble one must take in reaching that goal of finding a soul mate.
Sunday 31 January 2010
Solving relationship problems
It’s one of the main topics of love advice: relationship problems. In fact, with all the tips and hints out there, you’d think solving problems in a relationship requires scientific formula you need a PhD to understand.
The reality is, though, when you catch problems early and use plenty of patience and fairness, there are only a few steps you need to take to get things straightened out.
Identify the cause
Sometimes the cause of trouble in a relationship is obvious. It might be problems with money, the kids, or a certain habit one of you has that really irks the other. A lot of the time, though, there’s just a niggling sense that something isn’t right. Maybe there’s less romance, less physical affection, and a feeling of growing apart. In cases like this, you’ll need to look a little deeper to figure out what the root of your problem really is. Knowing this will make it a lot easier to use love advice: relationship problems don’t all have the same cause.
Pick your battles
Give some serious thought to whether the problem is really worth bringing up. You may decide the fact that your partner routinely leaves wet towels on the floor or even occasionally pays a bill a day or two late isn’t something you want to rock the boat over. On the other hand, if something your partner does leaves you feeling hurt or rejected or is causing serious financial or social problems, it’s a good idea to bring the issue up. That way you won’t give resentment a chance to grow.
Time it right
If you’ve decided you really do need to talk about an issue, pick a good time (or at least not a really bad time). Just remember, when one of you is stressed out or tired is not a good time to start a discussion about a serious problem.
Don’t ambush your partner, either. Pouncing on them with a heavy issue just gives the conversation a confrontational edge from the outset. Instead of the old “We need to talk,” try something less confrontational like “Honey, do you have a couple minutes to talk about something?”
Be gentle
Winning is not be the goal here. The goal is improving—or in some cases, saving—the relationship. If one of you is impatient, harshly critical, insulting you both lose.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you need to talk to your partner like they’re a three-year-old. Just talk to them with the same level of respect you would
Although it may sound like “softy” love advice, relationship problems don’t generally improve when one partner is aggressive.
Accept your share of the blame
Over all, it’s better to focus on solving the problem rather than riding the “Who started it” merry-go-round. That said, you still need to accept that something about your own behavior may need to change, too. Listen to your partner’s side of the story with an open mind and be willing to negotiate fairly. Of course, you still need to keep your personal boundaries as far as not accepting physical or emotional abuse.
Although the steps above should help you work out most common problems, keep reading up on how to resolve conflict in your relationship so you’ll know how to handle any serious issues that may come along. When it comes to love advice, relationship problems are one of the hottest topics, so you shouldn’t have any trouble finding some good tips.
The reality is, though, when you catch problems early and use plenty of patience and fairness, there are only a few steps you need to take to get things straightened out.
Identify the cause
Sometimes the cause of trouble in a relationship is obvious. It might be problems with money, the kids, or a certain habit one of you has that really irks the other. A lot of the time, though, there’s just a niggling sense that something isn’t right. Maybe there’s less romance, less physical affection, and a feeling of growing apart. In cases like this, you’ll need to look a little deeper to figure out what the root of your problem really is. Knowing this will make it a lot easier to use love advice: relationship problems don’t all have the same cause.
Pick your battles
Give some serious thought to whether the problem is really worth bringing up. You may decide the fact that your partner routinely leaves wet towels on the floor or even occasionally pays a bill a day or two late isn’t something you want to rock the boat over. On the other hand, if something your partner does leaves you feeling hurt or rejected or is causing serious financial or social problems, it’s a good idea to bring the issue up. That way you won’t give resentment a chance to grow.
Time it right
If you’ve decided you really do need to talk about an issue, pick a good time (or at least not a really bad time). Just remember, when one of you is stressed out or tired is not a good time to start a discussion about a serious problem.
Don’t ambush your partner, either. Pouncing on them with a heavy issue just gives the conversation a confrontational edge from the outset. Instead of the old “We need to talk,” try something less confrontational like “Honey, do you have a couple minutes to talk about something?”
Be gentle
Winning is not be the goal here. The goal is improving—or in some cases, saving—the relationship. If one of you is impatient, harshly critical, insulting you both lose.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you need to talk to your partner like they’re a three-year-old. Just talk to them with the same level of respect you would
Although it may sound like “softy” love advice, relationship problems don’t generally improve when one partner is aggressive.
Accept your share of the blame
Over all, it’s better to focus on solving the problem rather than riding the “Who started it” merry-go-round. That said, you still need to accept that something about your own behavior may need to change, too. Listen to your partner’s side of the story with an open mind and be willing to negotiate fairly. Of course, you still need to keep your personal boundaries as far as not accepting physical or emotional abuse.
Although the steps above should help you work out most common problems, keep reading up on how to resolve conflict in your relationship so you’ll know how to handle any serious issues that may come along. When it comes to love advice, relationship problems are one of the hottest topics, so you shouldn’t have any trouble finding some good tips.
Are you romantic?
Being a man and being labeled a romantic is not always desirable. Or is it? Just because you like pampering your lady doesn't mean that you are any less a man than any other man. You can spend your day finishing your basement, working on your car, just getting your hands dirty so to speak but at the end of that day there's nothing quite like the look of love and care on your significant others face when you cook an impromptu dinner for her. And the benefits of what happens after dinner, or even before you get dinner done, far outweigh any negative connotations being labeled a romantic have.
Being a romantic man is not that hard. In most cases it's the little things that women notice. A glance, a quick touch or brush across her back. Sure, flowers are nice, but haven't they almost become a cliché. That's not to say women don't like flowers because they do, but if that's all you've got then it will only go so far. You have to mix it up, change your style and use your imagination to create romantic moments for the woman you love.
And here's the most important thing to remember. If you truly know her and what her likes and dislikes are then it's easy. Think of something built around something she likes to do. Does she like shopping (not something men even like to think about much less do), fine dining, walks on a beach, watching movies and the list goes on. It's all about doing something she likes with her. And the fringe benefits of doing this are the only reward you will need.
Now here's a little hint. While it seems like you may be doing something you don't necessarily like to do that's not really true. Let's look at the shopping example. And when I say take her shopping it means shopping for her. Don't go to the local home remodeling center, you might find yourself sleeping in the dog house for a few nights. Remember, this is romance.
You take a day to go clothes shopping for her. This is about her, but it is also for you because the idea is to go to the more upscale type of shops. Why? Because you are looking for clothes that she looks good in, that she will ask your opinion on as she models it for you. Not only does she feel sexy but you can see that in how she moves and carries herself. And if by some chance you can guide her into a lingerie shop, well you just might be surprised when she lets you pick out something and she wears it that night at home, or if your really on your stuff, back at the hotel room (now there's an idea: a night away from home).
A romantic man is in a win-win situation. And the best thing is it can be allot of fun for both the man and the woman.
And women, if your reading this. We men like to be romanced to, but then you already knew that!
Being a romantic man is not that hard. In most cases it's the little things that women notice. A glance, a quick touch or brush across her back. Sure, flowers are nice, but haven't they almost become a cliché. That's not to say women don't like flowers because they do, but if that's all you've got then it will only go so far. You have to mix it up, change your style and use your imagination to create romantic moments for the woman you love.
And here's the most important thing to remember. If you truly know her and what her likes and dislikes are then it's easy. Think of something built around something she likes to do. Does she like shopping (not something men even like to think about much less do), fine dining, walks on a beach, watching movies and the list goes on. It's all about doing something she likes with her. And the fringe benefits of doing this are the only reward you will need.
Now here's a little hint. While it seems like you may be doing something you don't necessarily like to do that's not really true. Let's look at the shopping example. And when I say take her shopping it means shopping for her. Don't go to the local home remodeling center, you might find yourself sleeping in the dog house for a few nights. Remember, this is romance.
You take a day to go clothes shopping for her. This is about her, but it is also for you because the idea is to go to the more upscale type of shops. Why? Because you are looking for clothes that she looks good in, that she will ask your opinion on as she models it for you. Not only does she feel sexy but you can see that in how she moves and carries herself. And if by some chance you can guide her into a lingerie shop, well you just might be surprised when she lets you pick out something and she wears it that night at home, or if your really on your stuff, back at the hotel room (now there's an idea: a night away from home).
A romantic man is in a win-win situation. And the best thing is it can be allot of fun for both the man and the woman.
And women, if your reading this. We men like to be romanced to, but then you already knew that!
Has the internet revolutionised dating?
The Information and Technology Revolution has geared the net savvy to tap into internet resources that offers much promise. The ability to connect in an instant and the amount of information you can access at a click on the mouse is amazing. Activities of every kind are now available online and this includes the popular indulgence of online dating. This option offers people of all ages the ability to interact with persons of the opposite sex. This enables the possibility of dating, great relationship building and even marriage.
Online dating sites offer access to a number of prospects that are matched up to your personality via the information you provide while signing in as a member of the site. Once you sign in, you can take your pick and experiment. However, it is important to note that the people you interact with online are complete strangers. You have to use your discretion and never reveal all just because you think the person is perfect for you. For online dating to be a success, you need to follow the rules. If you are careful, the interactions via online dating could culminate in good and lasting relationships via the information shared in the chat rooms.
When your profile is matched, always initially indulge in some very casual enquiries and sum up the person from day 1. If you feel that the profile simply builds on the basics in good time, by the time you share ‘how you spend your weekends’ and ‘your dream holiday destination’, you should be ready to meet. The meeting should always be in a social setting and amidst other friends of both. If you feel drawn to the person for the extended warmth and the conversation online, you can plan another meeting. Look for signs like unexpected and purposeful show of intimacy and the incessant need for another private meeting soon expressed by the person. These are warning signals. A relationship, a good one at that, is always based on compatibility and trust and a great comfort level. The moment you sense that one of you is causing the other to feel stifled, you should reconsider.
Online dating offers people from around the world opportunities to interact with others beyond any geographical constraints. This unveils a whole world of opportunity for anyone including loners and the older singles. If the connectivity is put to good use, it can optimize your chances of getting into a relationship that has the elements of mystery, charm and trust, depending on how far you want to go. The adventure aspect of such a proposition is very alluring and the do’s and don’ts are clear for any level headed individual to see and act by. Online dating sites enable you to upload the information you wish to share and strike contact almost instantaneously in the chat rooms. There are many people who swear by the success ratio of online dating because of the healthy relationships they enjoy. There are a few upsets as well, but if you weigh the pros and cons, you realize that discretion and caution are the two magic mantras of online dating.
Online dating sites offer access to a number of prospects that are matched up to your personality via the information you provide while signing in as a member of the site. Once you sign in, you can take your pick and experiment. However, it is important to note that the people you interact with online are complete strangers. You have to use your discretion and never reveal all just because you think the person is perfect for you. For online dating to be a success, you need to follow the rules. If you are careful, the interactions via online dating could culminate in good and lasting relationships via the information shared in the chat rooms.
When your profile is matched, always initially indulge in some very casual enquiries and sum up the person from day 1. If you feel that the profile simply builds on the basics in good time, by the time you share ‘how you spend your weekends’ and ‘your dream holiday destination’, you should be ready to meet. The meeting should always be in a social setting and amidst other friends of both. If you feel drawn to the person for the extended warmth and the conversation online, you can plan another meeting. Look for signs like unexpected and purposeful show of intimacy and the incessant need for another private meeting soon expressed by the person. These are warning signals. A relationship, a good one at that, is always based on compatibility and trust and a great comfort level. The moment you sense that one of you is causing the other to feel stifled, you should reconsider.
Online dating offers people from around the world opportunities to interact with others beyond any geographical constraints. This unveils a whole world of opportunity for anyone including loners and the older singles. If the connectivity is put to good use, it can optimize your chances of getting into a relationship that has the elements of mystery, charm and trust, depending on how far you want to go. The adventure aspect of such a proposition is very alluring and the do’s and don’ts are clear for any level headed individual to see and act by. Online dating sites enable you to upload the information you wish to share and strike contact almost instantaneously in the chat rooms. There are many people who swear by the success ratio of online dating because of the healthy relationships they enjoy. There are a few upsets as well, but if you weigh the pros and cons, you realize that discretion and caution are the two magic mantras of online dating.
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